Friday, July 12, 2013

Spinning Plates

Okay, here’s an introduction to me.

I am about 90 pounds overweight. Losing that much would not put me at the “official” ideal weight for my age and height – but I was wearing a size 8 and felt comfortable at that weight, so I would love to get back there. I have gained 35 pounds in just the last two and a half years. 

I have a grocery list of health problems: Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), moderate to severe asthma, allergies, Fibromyalgia (Fibro), migraines, high cholesterol, recurrent kidney stones, eczema, severe insomnia, and a bleeding disorder.

Have you ever seen one of those acrobats that bends their bodies like a pretzel while balancing spinning plates? I feel like that sometimes. Everything seems to touch and interact with something else and cause more problems. My allergies might activate and cause my asthma to get out of control – which leads to bronchitis or pneumonia – which leads to antibiotics that make my IBS act up – which causes my Fibro to flare (because any stressor causes Fibro to flare – which may also lead to more migraines . . . . And so on.

It may not ring true because I’m writing about it, but I don’t like talking about my health problems. I feel like they control so much of my life and dictate so many of my decisions that I would love to not have them center stage in my relationships. It’s not like they add a lot of positives. I think I’m being a bit like an ostrich though – burying my head in the sand and the only one who isn’t seeing the situation for what it really is – is me. I need to face this head on and then maybe I can overcome.

So as much as I want to lose weight, this journey is more about health and lifestyle than weight loss.

How about you? Do you prefer to hide your struggles and pretend everything is okay or let it all out? Somewhere in the middle? Have you found your relationships were strengthened or hurt by your approach?

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